𝘗𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳𝘴
Full On Onion Mode & Full Moon
I’ve left it a couple of weeks on my Fabry files blog, firstly I didn’t have much to report then secondly all of a sudden I had too much to report. Subsequently I went in to full on wobble of what the actual f@!k
I’m in shedding mode of peeling back and leaning in, i feel a lot of emotions rising right now – maybe it’s the full moon in Scorpio Inviting us To Embrace Change..The planetary alignment driving us to release what is no longer working, to make shift, to change, or make decisions that are more in alignment versus sacrificing what brings us joy. A question i often ask what brings you joy?
Taking off the strong mask, the masculine, the I’ve got this on my own mode and turning to my feminine..
I’m in emotional healing, physical healing and head space healing mode and accepting the help I need, letting go of what no longer serves me and making space for what is to come.
Finding Faith & Peace
The deeper you dig the closer it brings you to faith, I don’t have a particular faith but I feel a pull to my spiritual side, a side that wants me to believe, meditate, journal to hold faith that all will be well and that everything happens for a reason ..
You see my illness is not going to define me it’s just a part of me, it’s about building up from the bottom and around to support my illness but to have strong enough foundations to rise..
Making peace with the past, with the illness and moving forwards into my light.
Last week I did an awful lot of journaling around my why, my vision, my future, what it looks and what it feels like..
Healing Is Messy
It got deep, it got emotional and it got messy, I spoke from the heart and it freed up so much space in my head that I felt much lighter. The tears flowed
We often carry a lot of heavy rocks around with us, that hold us back, that burden us, that don’t allow us to be ourselves, to feel free.
I started to smash the rocks down and chip away at a couple of big boulders to ensure I could feel lighter..
My future, my vision – Peace, Calm, Serenity.
Back To The Onion
So let’s get to the core of the onion and go even further to the soil of ensuring the ground it will grow in will nourish – that’s what the last couple of weeks have been all about.
Home care didn’t quite go as planned it got messy, and to think that my veins are going to take a hammering every other week I felt scared about the possibilities of them just packing in..
I’m Lucky to be surrounded by good people that gave me amazing advice and talked me through better alternatives that I could put forward to the hospital – I know it should be the other way around but hey ho right now I’m fighting for “ME” not the system..
I put forward my case of having a port fitted so that my veins are not being hammered.
It just makes sense even though it’s invasive surgery and freaks me out a little, it’s the best option for me.
Salford have confirmed they will give me that option, I just need to have some vein mapping done and a chat to talk through it all so I can then make an informed choice.
Last Week Was A Testing Mo Fo
Finally my Genova test results, well half of them as there was a pee disaster and one bottle arrived cracked.
Boy was my soil toxic and depleted of anything nourishing, so aside from the Fabry, I’m never going to flourish if I don’t get the good soil going on.
My body is loaded to the max with toxins – petrol & plastic, it’s not absorbing any nutrients, functioning on fresh air, I’m massively depleted of energy, my mitochondria is shot and a whole host of other things going on in the body, so many things I need to work on in order to start growing healthy onions
Just getting my head around my next steps to take and awaiting more blood test results and news around my kidneys.
I’m currently looking into finding a clinic for IV vitamin treatment that is tailored to my needs so if anyone has any amazing recommendations of clinics in the north that are run by Doctors that would be awesome..
Currently looking at Nassif Med Spa – Salford and awaiting to see if they can provide the service I need.
At home I’m adding in a water filter to the main water system and having a few things tested so much plastic can be found in the water we drink and the foods we consume, I’ve fully switched to organic food, less meat, less fish more plant based. My make up and body products are all toxin free so I am trying to do all I can whilst still live.
Petrol and plastic overload is crazy, a massive endocrine disrupter. These disruptions can cause cancerous tumors something that has been flagged before and keeps rearing its head again and again..
“With everything that has happened to you, you can feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” – Wayne Dyer
Fresh Week, Fresh Flowers, Fresh Mind
So a new week ahead, Treatment Tuesday, Get up, show up and keep moving forward..
Keep breaking down those boulders, keep focussing on my why, my why the hell not!
My WHY that is so much bigger than me, but, ultimately is all about ME in how I show up, In how I keep pushing the boundaries of this disease, of keep researching and looking at alternative ways of wanting to live a life to the fullest, of not accepting 50 as an answer to death of giving others hope that they too can live a good life, a life they deserve..
Keep smashing rocks
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